Day 2 @ Leeds - The Captains' Knocks

A sunnier day greeted revellers in Leeds. If I was in Yorkshire, I would have definitely headed to Headingley, but others in my family would have checked out Trip Advisor and saw the Top 5 things to do were: * The Museum of Medicine, * Zombie Scavenger Hunt, * A 3-hour food tour (not sure how many beers and pasties you could consume in 180 minutes), * The Royal Armouries Museum, and * a 3-hour walking tour (surely that could be combined with the third option). In other words, it seems about as boring as bat poo if you're not watching cricket. 

And it didn't take long to get exciting when Dud snicked off. Bowled Postman, caught Cleaner. A rapturous applause greeted the next batter, as local lad, CuddlyBair joined his skipper in the middle. I haven't seen as much ginger in one place since ordering the number 22 at my local Thai restaurant. But we didn't have to see that unsightly hair colour for long as Cuddles got hungry and decided to edge one to Smudge so he could enjoy an early lunch. Meanwhile, Bent and Moeen kept poking away in dribs and drabs, until the latter hit two 4's and skied an attempted third straight to the fielder - 6/131. With the bowlers coming in, the Aussies were looking for a solid first innings lead. However, someone forgot to tell the new bowlers for this test, as Woakes then Wood, decided to plunder a few boundaries, adding a quick 34 between them. 

Captain Cummins injected himself (not recommended unless you're a registered nurse at least) to wonderful effect, claiming his fifth and sixth wickets, a great effort from the skipper. However, it was the other skipper's turn to prove he's the best player on his team, even with one leg. Like a man who has run out of petrol in his Holden just 2 km from his destination, Spoke decided to push the car to it's destination. Dan Murphy was the unlucky hitchhiker in the way of NZ born skipper. Murphy was hit for a Hungarian baker's half-dozen (which is only 5 as the baker always takes one for himself) of sixes and it seemed that he'd notch up another ton and give England an unlikely 1st innings lead. However, swinging that hard and that often can lead to exhaustion, and that's exactly what happened at Spoke went to go back to back again and only made it as far as Smudge in the deep; out for a thunderous 80, and England 26 behind the visitors at the change of innings.

The opportunity for the Green Caps to push the advantage, set up a lead of 320, and put the final nail in Bazball Theory had presented itself on the second part of Day 2. Tom Waterhouse had the Aussies at $1.40 for the win, but I saw his dad in the background with a can of white paint... Two overs in, 11 without loss - things were going to plan. Draco's second over to Davey W; dot to short mid-wicket, then caught by Spider at second slip. Wait. Is this a rain delay replay of the first innings? Was it was deja vu all over again? Ahhh, the great Yogi Berra was needed on commentary to talk through D. Warner's second innings dismissal. It's now 17 and counting and he is now officially Broad's bunny. While his catching has been sharp this series, his batting is a cause for concern. It will be interesting if the Aussies lose this test whether Davey keeps his place. I think he will, but I'm not sure he should.

Uzzie and Marnus did what was needed against Draco, Woakes & Wood. 1 for 29 off 12 overs, and with no Flog Hobinson, Dud came on from the Football Stand End to try and buy a wicket, or perhaps to see if the wicket was taking to spin. Anyway, through to tea with a 55 run lead is a good outcome. He made way for Moeen and Malfoy, who has worked tirelessly this series (I hate myself for writing that). Mo Ali was actually getting a few balls to rip and bounce too, which would be encouraging for Uncle Dan in the fourth innings. Anyway, Fire & Wood entered, sending down his short spell thunderbolts. This added pressure at one end as Pro and Conductor were ducking for cover, then feeling compelled to score from Ali. Then the unthinkable; Loose Bus Change played a deplorable shot and hung his head instantly - just like a child who has just been told, "Don't touch the car cigarette lighter with your finger!" but then that child thinks they know better and they touch it. That may or may not have happened to me as a 6 year old....

No worries, surely Smudge the Centurion would put England to the sword. What! Out for 2! In a similarly shite way! Aren't these two guys supposed to be the standard that our batters measure themselves against? And to Mo Ali as well. Sampson and The Pro would have to do the bulk of the batting to reach the goal of a 320 run lead. The order of the rest of the day was singles, and putting the occasional pie with sauce from Moeen to the boundary. And that was fine. At least for 7 overs until the woke bowler of the attack claimed his first for the innings by finding Uzzie's edge making it 4 fa. Not a safe state for the visitors, with only 3 renowned batters remaining and Day 2 of the test has not yet ended. Luckily, The Bison and Sampson got them to 116 without further loss (a lead of 142), but with 3 top order wickets for 87 in the final session, most would agree that the 6th session of the test belonged to England.

Day 3 should provide a clearer picture to the outcome of this test - or even a winner given 24 wickets have already fallen.

JT