Day 1 @ Leeds - The Comeback Kids!
We knew there would be some changes coming into the Third Test. The Goat picked up a serious calf injury (otherwise known as an "Old Man Calf Ping") - with Ashes debutant, Todd "Dan" Murphy stepping in. Boniface has hurt his shoulder and it was assumed another batter would take his place - wrong - Moeen Ali comes in, meaning Donny Brook is being promoted to bat No.3. It's always been said that your first drop should be your best batter - not sure what this said for the English line up then...
Some of the other changes include some of the dead wood on both sides (forced and "rested") including Jimmy Anderson to make way Mark "Fire &" Wood; whose inclusion has been much anticipated despite not playing much cricket for the past 12 months; Cam "Giraffe" Green, who has been disappointing one must say, for The Bison himself, Mitchell Marsh, who last played a test four years ago in the last hotly contested UK series. Not to stop there, Chris "Somewhat" Woakes will take over from Josh "Too Much" Tongue, who must feel unlucky on missing out on a back up test considering the wickets he took at Lord's. Perhaps he'll become a Lord's specialist, just like Stuey McGill became an SCG specialist - so much so, he changed his middle initials to reflect the fact. The last change for this test is not so surprising given the greenish tinge the Leeds pitch seems to have just hours out from the first ball; Scott Boland comes in to give Hazelnuts a rest given his lack of cricket in the past few months. There was a possible late change when I saw the English singing their national anthem, as the cameraman panned over the English team, but you could just see D#$%it's fringe - lucky he combs his hair upwards, sort of like Cosmo Kramer.
Onto the match. As tradition and the Spirit of Cricket would have it, Postman Pat decided to let the hosts have their way at the toss, meaning Australia would bat again in the bowler friendly conditions. The Pool Cleaner in an attempt to exercise his Slytherin demons drove the first ball of the test for 4 runs. But it didn't take long, in fact just 4 more balls for Draco to have his bunny, caught by Spider at 2nd slip - making it 16 times that he has taken the scalp of Warner - one more and Oxford has said that they will include a picture of Warner in the dictionary under the word, Bunny. 1 for 4 and Headingley was rocking. Loose Bus Change joined The Pro, and the latter batted with intent, staking his early claim for player of the series. Personally, if that award goes to whoever influenced the result of the series the most, J. Bairstow gets my vote. Dropped catches and extras in results determined by 2 wickets and 43 runs seems pretty influential. After two tests, English batters have actually scored more runs than Australian batters - the real difference has been grit, discipline and safe hands.
Short spells seemed to be in order and after some prodding and poking, Comeback Kid #1, Fire & Wood enters the attack. His first 3 deliveries were 91, 93, and 95 mph. Serious pace. Both batters seemed to struggle with the pace, understatedly given it's 20 mph more than Bracelet's throw downs. More extras were on offer, leg byes a plenty and even 4 byes off a bumper that went well over batter, keeper and one bounce and four. The BBC commentators asked if it cleared the boundary would it be six runs? Of course not you plonker! According to Law 23.2.1 a six can only be scored if it makes contact with the bat; and in the Spirit of the Game surely the batter would recall the delivery if it did travel over the boundary on the full. The Pro had been playing so patiently, facing his 900 delivery of the series to date, and literally the delivery after the BBC commentator had made that comment - GONE! Bowled by an absolute seed by Wood. Gone for 13 and that's 2 for 42 at drinks. I thought the terrace at Headingley were disapproving of the Gatorade being handed out to the players at the break, but the booing was reserved for the entrance of Smudge Smith, entering for his 100th test. I've said it once and I'll say it again, I don't get booing. Particularly to someone celebrating a milestone like a ton of tests. Imagine if Geelong fans sat in their seats last year as Chairman Gil instructed, and booed as Buddy slotted home his 1000 AFL goal. Madness. Credit must be given to amazing feats.
The Blue Cap brains trust had requested a quick pitch for Fire & Wood and he was not disappointing. While Smith and Marnus had navigated the visitors into the 20th over, it was not easy, and on 21, Loose Bus Change edged one to Dud in the the slips off the gentler pace of Woakes. At 3 fa, the hosts were on top and the job for the tourists to bat out the day became that much harder. But the Centurion is still at the crease. Smudge looked to impose himself on the game with a 4 and a 6, but then snicked off to Draco making it 4 for 85. Enter Comeback Kid #2.
The Bison strode to the pitch with his side in a hole. After leaving a couple in his first test in four years, the man with the broadest chest in test cricket drove one through the covers for 4 to open his Ashes account. The next few overs were tentative for the newly shorn Head and the man who needs custom made hats, until Marsh plonked Woakes over the boundary. What was to follow was something unexpected - Head was rotating the strike while The Bison was plundering the English bowling like a Viking in Normandy. Through lunch, then drinks, and the Aussie batters were made the pitch look less docile than it previously did. The inclusion of Marsh looked like absolute genius as he brought up his run a ball ton. Eventually dismissed, defending oddly enough, for 118 off 118 balls right on the stroke of tea; 21 boundaries in all. The Aussies were 5/240.
A modest total that would need a quality bowling effort, and that's what Postman Pat gave us in his second over, thanks to an amazing catch by a specialist keeper who can bat (sorry JB). In Postman's next over, Ellen with a peach of a ball, on a score that would make a silver headed angel look down and smile (2/22). Towards the end of the day, Spider and Dud mixed their intent between singles and boundaries, until the former gives a chance to the Pool Cleaner, who accepts it like a favour for services rendered. 3 for 67 at the close of play. 13 wickets for the day - the most in the series thus far. Looking forward to tomorrow.
JT
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