"I thought you said he was a knob-end..."

There are many reasons why a man gets married. Lifelong partner, a mother for his children, someone to remind you that you're a knob sometimes. The latter is how I felt watch Stuart Broad's announcement of retirement on the edge of The Oval playing arena with the Sky Sport commentators. I was reminded by the 51% shareholder of our household that sometimes I continue to judge someone long after an unsavoury act - especially as that said person may have grown or matured. As our family watched his magnanimous words and respect for the game, the name Draco seemed to slip into the past, and Broad re-entered the conversation. My justification of derision towards his antics and behaviours became as childish as a maid of honour having a tantrum at her sister's wedding as the happy couple perform their wedding dance to the same song she did two years prior. I mean "Bed of Roses" by Jon Bon Jovi is a good song, but did either couple really listen to the lyrics - "Tonight I sleep on a bed of nails"....

But anyway, I digress. Broad has been a servant to English Cricket. To this point, he's played Test Cricket for 17 years, 164 tests, taken 602 wickets at an average of under 28 runs/wicket - and 151 of those wickets have come against Australia. To top it off his last scoring shot in Test cricket was a 6 - the only runs England added to their overnight score, meaning Australia must chase a record 384 for victory. Well, not quite a record, it has been done once before during an Ashes Test, but to say that team was elite would be an understatement - Bradman and Ponsford each scoring massive hundreds at Headingley as part of the Invincibles team in 1948 to chase 404. 

But the scene has been set, with more parallel story lines than the Marvel Cinematic Universe. This is now Stuart Broad's last test. David Warner is batting for his dream test farewell at the SCG in January 2024. Australia are battling for their first outright UK Ashes victory since 2001 (finally enough, the same year that the Wallabies last won the Bledisloe cup). And England are aiming for a 2-2 result, but obviously a moral victory, because if it didn't rain and Australia didn't cheat, and Lyon blew his calf out a test earlier, they could have a chance at a 5 test clean sweep 😆.

Things started extremely well for the Australians. Similar to the first innings, Uzzie was slightly tentative and facing the lion share of deliveries, and Davie was a bit more aggressive with everything to play for. It was pleasing to shots played rather than the survival tactic given there is a full two days to chase under 400 runs. Occasional boundaries with sound defence and the first hour had plenty of Aussies believing.

Ted Lasso (possibly the best show on TV since Covid-19) believe in embracing the chaos and reap the rewards. As the Aussie openers play their shots, it seemed that Ted Lasso may have been in the dressing sheds providing advice - if it was, geez he's been on the English ales and curries since Season 3 has finished... 

Sacked Gold Coast Suns coach, Stew Dew making plans on where the post test meal should be.

Through the first hour and then the first session. At 0/75 it seemed that the Duke was quite impotent and the batters were having it all their own way. A resumption of play say an accumulation of a dozen boundaries between the left-handed duo, and that meant that Aussie loungerooms were becoming louder, and the positive momentum was flowing into other areas; the animals were behaving themselves, I was marking work by its due date, students were getting amazing marks; everything was coming up Milhouse! 

There was a scary moment when Fire & Wood sconed The Pro square on the back of the helmet. Hats off to Wood, he immediately checked if Khawaja was okay - a 10 minute game delay followed as the mandatory concussion protocols were followed. During that break, the commentary team took over, and it seems that Dinesh Karthik is getting a bit of a cult following. His niggling of Punter Ponting definitely brought a smile to the face. And while he was a miserable captain, Punter could bat. Here in this clip he explains what Bazball has been doing successfully on some days, and what the Aussies need to do if they're going to get the chocolates in this test - link. It's not so much about premeditation, it's more about getting the bowler to bowl where you want them to. In this vid, he enlists the help of Oh Ah Glenn McGrath.

While I hung onto to hope that play would resume after the drinks break of the second session, it seemed to be hopelessly optimistic. If the rain held off for another hour, that Duke soaked up more moisture and didn't swing, the Aussies could have got the run chase closer to 200. As it is, it will be a new day. Australia need 249 runs. England need 10 wickets. And the entire cricket world is hoping for clear skies - I cannot wait for the last day of a fantastic series.

JT